WORRY WANIE

Oh, Wanie, our neighbourhood hypochondriac! Her descriptions of all her aches and pains sound like she’s read every single medical article there is to be read on the internet. To tell the truth, for minor symptoms, she will come to the conclusion that she has a major illness. For example, once, Wanie woke up with a headache and practically ran to the emergency room because she was absolutely convinced it must be a brain tumour. The doctors examined her and told her she was simply dehydrated after drinking nothing all day. When she came back home, she awkwardly handed me a prescription for 500 ml of H2O three times a day. It’s a streak that has been going on for a long time and that will undoubtedly continue in the long run. I have a gut feeling that her doctors do not look forward to seeing her name on their appointment lists. ‘Yesterday,’ she said in the same breath,'she went to the doctor because she absolutely, positively knew that she had contracted a tropical disease after binge-watching a TV documentary about it on some National Geographic channel.’ And so, Wanie put on her gloves and a facemask, which she never took off even when she went to the local grocery store on the hottest summer days. And when I saw her wearing her dishwashing gloves and this gigantic gas mask, we all almost wet our pants laughing.