THE GROUCH

Always frowning, Mr. Damien is known for his terrible temper, and his disposition has ever since earned him nicknames that instantly stick. Though his sour visage does occasionally put people off their food, there is a certain odd whimsy about him that makes him appealing, especially to the children in the neighbourhood, who are forever chortling at Mr. Damien. Why, you ask? Well, it's because Mr. Damien has a peculiar habit of talking to birds. Yes, you read that right—birds. Each morning, it seems, he comes out and sits on the porch, and a flock of birds alights on the porch railing, where they talk in rapid chatter and chirp back to him. It’s a pretty good imitation of a full-bodied conversation in which Mer. Damien seems to comprehend the birds’ language, and the birds definitely chat back to him in a frenzied fashion. We can’t be sure whether the man is grumpy or not after all. Oh, and he’s also secretly a huge fan of short-haired fluffy kittens. If you ever mention a kitten or even get near one, Damien will light up like a little, tiny lamp and start talking in a high-pitched, soothing tone. Watching Mr. Grouchy melt into a Lilliputian pile of goo over a kitten makes me laugh. And it once again proves the point that there’s not a hardened mean among us who won’t ‘awww’ over a sweet, draped-in-fur, little animal.