DR GOOGLE

Uncle Ilyas can diagnose any affliction for anyone who experiences the slightest of symptoms. Trust me, if you can think of something that ails you, he has an answer—a virtual database of human ailments strapped to the crook of his arm! One could ask Uncle Ilyas a question about a symptom, an herbal remedy, or even seemingly complex medical conditions, such as a genetic disease, and they would hear an answer off the top of his head. He would have quite specific and informed terminology ready for the diagnosis, but he had no formal medical training. He’s just really into looking everything up on the internet. The grandiose—some might even say audacious—certainty with which he dispenses his diagnoses makes for funny situations, for example, when someone finally goes to see a real doctor who comes back with a diagnosis completely different from the internet one. One time, my friend had, as they say, a simple allergy; yet, Uncle Ilyas dispensed a diagnosis of a rare disease found only in distant jungles, for which he believed eating crushed raw garlic every day served as a cure. We had a great laugh when we found out that it was only pollen causing the sniffles.