THE CONSPIRACY THEORIST

Hannah keeps going on about government conspiracies and world domination through secret societies. I swear, she tried to tell me that our postman was a spy for an underground organisation at one point. She has all these crazy ideas about chemtrails, alien abductions, and so on—basically, living next to her is like living next to an episode of The X-Files that wandered off into the real world. Whenever I run into her at the grocery store, she always manages to work some out-of-the-box new theory into our conversation. At this point, I just nod and smile as she goes on about chemtrails or lizard people taking over the world, because you never know what she’s going to come up with next. But one thing's for sure: Talking to Hannah might be the best laugh I get in a month. Only a week ago, she tried to enlist me in her war against reptilian politicians in disguise. I politely declined with a chuckle, but now I can't help but side-eye every politician I see. Thanks a lot, Hannah!