Chapter 31 : Magic

I still kept my work going, even though I got the whole day off to rest. It was such a relief, I must say to be able to escape from the chaotic office for a little bit. I spent almost the whole time to check back on my work on the 'Review' and 'Relax' section. Doing some amendments here and there, with one or two coffee section in between. But to be quite honest most of the time also, my brain was not really at home. I kept thinking about the office. I felt a little guilty thinking about how busy everyone must be and how they could not move on with my parts, as I was not there. So I called Dee, assuming they were all busy as hell and maybe I could show them my concern and care. But it came to my surprise when Dee told me that he was not at the office either. As was everyone else, except for Daniel maybe. I was confused. Dee later told me that Daniel did not only let me go for a leave, but he gave it to everyone else left in the office too. Nobody had to show up for that day. So many questions popped up in my head when I heard about it. I was worried about Daniel more than was I confused. I really wanted to call him right then and there to find out what was really happening at Terry Lee. In my head I pictured there was Daniel alone...sitting at his table in the dimmed light, trying his best to save the magazine. Maybe I should call him to cheer him up. But suddenly I felt like it was unnecessary. Maybe he finally realized that he had to give us some space to recharge and come back more motivated, after being pressured for days.

I sent him a short text, checking out how he was doing and he returned it with also a brief one.

'I'm okay. You guys have a break today. Come back stronger tomorrow.'

I did not take the conversation any further. I just hoped nothing bad happened to him as we all needed him to lead the pack.

Soon as we all got back to Terry Lee, Daniel wasted no time by gathering every single one of us to discuss the fastest strategy we could adopt for the upcoming issue of Hey, which only had less than two weeks before sent out for printing. He started the brainstorming session by expressing how sorry he was, for all the hard times he caused to everyone. He admitted that the situation at the moment had got the best of him and how grateful he was for each one of us who was still there by his side putting up with everything. We did not speak a word when Daniel was expressing his feeling. We just nodded at every his word, as a sign that we got what he was saying and we understood the trying situation right now as well. Judging from the way he talked to us that day, we knew he was really sorry for his behaviour lately and we could tell that the off day given to us yesterday was his gesture to ask for forgiveness.

The situation in Hey improved a lot since the meeting. Everyone seemed to be much better at controlling their emotions now and we became determined and motivated to work on the next issue more than ever. With the dateline sitting at the back of everyone's head, we were breaking our legs to bring it to life. Our focus and commitment were solely for this youngest issue.

We showed up in the office as early as seven a.m and left around 9 p.m almost everyday, developing one after one page of the magazine especially on the most important segments that included the 'Review' and the monthly write ups from our recurrent journalists. Some staff like Rushdee and Teresa, they even decided to just stay over at the office to fully utilize the time. You know how bad Kuala Lumpur traffic can be sometimes and they did not want to waste their time on the road. Stress management was not taken lightly in the office at the time that you could see aromatherapy candles and diffuser, soft toys, all sorts of candies and chocolates, soft matt and even a Donald Duck's indoor slippers to name a few, all for the purpose of giving comfort and reducing stress. It looked more like a sleep over party place now than a proper office. There was even a camping tent, for crying out loud.

In the mean time, I received a news from Chan and Miss B that their quarantine time was almost over and I could not be more happy to hear that. I was glad nothing fatal happened to them, as we were seeing the statistic kept raising day by day. I extended the news to Daniel and he ordered them to come back to work only on early next month, to make sure they were really clean from the virus.

After five days of hard working, Daniel held a meeting to run through what we have achieved so far and to amend anything if necessary. He looked rather calm this time around, chairing the meeting in such gentle and organized manner. In the meeting he kept stressing it just how proud he was with all of us for what we have done so far. He was very happy and grateful with the outcomes and our focus to our works throughout the five days and he was in awed that we could come out with such as good job, even when there were only five of us.

"It took us only five days now to accomplish what normally would take us fifteen. Good job guys!" Daniel said with so much joy and pride. "However..." his tone changed a little bit, sounded pretty conspiratorial. Everyone in the room was frozen like a mannequin, with eyes and ears all on Daniel's lips. "We need a magic for this issue"

"What kind of magic are you talking about?" Dee asked.

Daniel smiled and turned his gaze on me.

*****

Two nights prior right before I left the office for home, Daniel has asked me to go out for a dinner.

"Marina," I heard him calling me when I was packing up and clearing my table. "Are you going straight home?"

"Yeah. The sooner I get home the more time I can think of what's for tomorrow."

"If you don't mind can we go out for a dinner now? Just for a while. My treat. We can talk about stuffs..."

"But I have to get up very early tomorrow..." I made excuse, trying to avoid it.

"Hmm it's okay. You can clock in a little later tomorrow."

Ughhh I really was not feeling it. This reminded me of what had happened in Asia Cafe some time ago and it might have happened again. Plus, he and Jennifer were together again. And I did not think it was a good idea to go out for an intimate dinner with anyone's boyfriend. That was not...tasteful.

"Honestly I should have been out with Jennifer now for a dinner. But she's tired and suggested that I go with just anyone from the office," Daniel explained as if he knew what's in my head.

'Ah! A guy like him knew it well what a woman like me is thinking and he will play it like a chess!' my heart said.

However...I said yes to him anyway. But only when he told me that he wanted to take me to Kerinchi for his favourite Char Kuey Teow there. Familiar with that area, I became less hesitant for I knew they did not serve alcohol there. At least in majority of the food and beverages outlets. But in my head, I already had this monologue going- of me preparing the answer, just in case Jennifer showed up and accused me with all the absurd things. I knew I was being pessimist and paranoid about it. But I felt like I had the right to feel so, taken all that happened before this into account. So a lady better be ready!

"I'm so sorry for what happened the other day, Marina," Daniel said soon as we finished our Char Kuey Teows.

"I have forgotten everything about it, Daniel," I said briefly, not looking at him at all. To be honest I was not comfortable to talk about it.

"Now you know who I am, right?"

"I shouldn't judge or label you just because you were drunk that day. That incident was at least quite a special experience for me too, to be frank."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It was the very first time in my life dealing with a drunken person you know?" Daniel burst into laughter when I said that. He might have thought just how naive I was.

"Are you for real? So...what do you think of a drunken person Marina?"

"I think when someone is drunk, they would turn into the most honest, most transparent person in the world."

"Is it supposed to be a good thing?" Daniel continued asking. Maybe my answer was vague and confusing.

"What do you think?" I asked him back.

"I don't think it's good Marina. It's embarrassing. Especially when..." he paused for a little while. 'Especially when it's about something embarrassing too' my heart said, guessing what he was going to say. I could be wrong, but I was hundred percent sure that it was what was going to come out from his mouth. "Ah just forget it..." Daniel continued. "But I'm so serious Marina, I apologize for what happened."

I stayed quiet and sip my untouched drink. Then, I moved my head up, looking straight into his face. That suddenly reminded me of everything he said in the Asia Cafe the other day. It made me laughed a little.

"What so funny, Marina?"

"You know..talking about this, it reminds me back to what you told me back then on that day. I can't believe it Daniel...I really can't believe it!"

"What is it Marina? Stop playing with me."

"I can't believe it that a man looking as flamboyant as this, is actually a broken hearted boy. By love, at that. Now, I know where the player Daniel came from."

That made him smile and lost for words. He tried to respond to what I said, but seemed like he was struggling to find the point.

"So it's fair and square now, all right. Same destiny. Both have been dumped and broken-hearted," Daniel said jokingly, but truly.

"How can it be fair and square? You got Jennifer in your arms now. So technically it's One-Zero isn't it..."

"One- Zero?" Daniel was confused. He didn't get my mathematics obviously.

"So...how about you and Jennifer now? People say, second chances often make us appreciate more what we have."

"If I may Marina, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Oh come on Daniel. That's such a PR answer for the press. I'm not a press nor I'm interviewing you now." I responded to him because I thought it was kind of funny and cliché.

"Oh yeah?" he reconfirmed.

"It's okay Daniel if you don't want to tell me about it. I'm not going to push you," I added. To think about it, it was better that I stayed off the radar of their relationship stories for I might get jealous about it. When I tried to find a better topic to keep the conversation going, Daniel suddenly initiated it and asked me something.

"Marina. Have you felt angry to Norman?" Daniel brought up that name and it caught me off guard. It took me a few moments before I was able to come out with the first word.

"I would be lying if i said that I have not. I meant it's all such a waste. Our time, our energy...Most importantly when I think about how years of relationship went down the drain just like that," there was a regret in my answer." But to look at the bright side, the break up has really opened my eyes on many things now."

"You mean you are over him now?" Daniel asked me in such a weird tone and gesture. I felt like somehow he would be happy if I said yes to that answer.

"Impossible. I don't think it's easy to wipe away his name from my life, Daniel. He had been in my life for so long and honestly I can still feel his presence until now. It's just, the feeling is no longer the same. I don't have a romantic feeling for him anymore, although he was the one who has changed my perception on love."

"Well it's to my deepest heart that I wish you are heading towards a better life now," Daniel said it, with a nuance of worries in his voice.

"Yes. Everything is getting better now," I smiled, convincing him.

Daniel looked up to the sky and did not say a word for a minute.

I just stared at him looking at the sky and thought, how lucky it was to be like Daniel. The choice was always in his hand. If he ever caught in any unwanted situations, it was all because of his own choice. I still admired him, despite of the anger he caused to me. True, I was mad at him, but it was not to the point that I hated him mercilessly. I just thought he should not have made me confused and drowned me in the waves of emotions and uncertainties.

When I was confirmed about his relationship with Jennifer again, Daniel showed up in my dream, one night. In that dream, I became a brave Marina, much braver than the reality. In that dream, I manned up and faced Daniel in a dark place with just the moonlight all over us. His face was very clear under the moonlight and with all the guts I had, I asked him the status of our relationship. His face changed after the question. It was puzzled.

"Why did you ask me that question, Marina?" Daniel asked, in such a cold intonation. He did not answer my question. His face indicated that he did not want to talk about it.

"I just need a closure! A confirmation!" I responded firmly.

"I thought I have told you this many times Marina. We are just close friend. Which part of the 'close friend' don't you understand?"

"Close friend? We are just close friend? Don't you realize what you have been doing all these times Daniel?"

"What have I done to you Marina? Don't make something out of nothing Marina."

"I'm not making this up! Don't you realize that you have treated me more than like a close friend before?"

"You got it wrong Marina. You totally have received the wrong message."

"I got the wrong message? So are you telling me that you took every girl you know to meet your parents? To have dinner with your family!?" I started to cry.

"All this while, you are not more than like a little sister to me, Marina" Daniel added, face down to the ground.

I couldn't accept what he just said and I ran leaving him behind me.

I woke up from the sleep, all of the sudden and I noticed there were tears on my cheeks. I wiped them dry and talked to myself.

"I wish I had the courage. If only..."

"Ehem.." Daniel cleared his throat. He realized I have been staring at his face for quite some time.

"Is there anything wrong with my face?" asked Daniel.

"No. Nothing...I'm just enjoying looking at you daydreaming. Whatever you dreamed about..." I tried to conceal my emotion.

"I was thinking about the future..." replied Daniel.

"Owh...but I thought the future was really flashing through your eyes. You could really see it!"

"By looking at the stars?"

"Yeah...hahaha" I laughed.

"You thought I was a Nujum (someone who can tell the future)?

"Nujum Pak Belalang"

"As far as I know Nujum Pak Belalang don't read stars to do his job."

"Of course. He uses a bowl of water"

"Well in that case let me use the water in this glass to find out about your future," Daniel reached out to his glass which was still full of water.

Daniel began to act like a Nujum reciting a mantra that sounded like a lyric of Zainal Abidin's song. I knew he made it up and clearly he did not know the first thing about being a Nujum. He blown his breaths out left and right, summoning whatever thing that would tell him about my future, and that moves embarrassingly caught the attention of some closest diners.

"Daniel stop it! People are looking at us! I tried to stopped him but he ignored me.

"All right, I'm done now," said Daniel.

"So...what did you see?" I knew it was a made up prediction, but still I was weirdly excited to hear it from Daniel.

"Wow! Your future is blinding my eyes! And the happiness is all yours!"

"That's it? I just wasted five minutes of my life for that?" I said to Daniel. He did look cute and funny, even though I expected something more creative from him. It crossed to mind in the same time to ask him if he was in the vision too. But if only I was the brave Marina in my dream.

"So...what do you expect for the next five years Daniel?" I changed the direction of the conversation.

"For Hey?"

"Anything."

"Daniel gave it a long thought, as if he was browsing his agenda with his mind. The he spilled it all on the table.

"I want to bring Hey to a larger market and I want to diversify Terry Lee's publication. I have pitched the idea to bring Hey to Jakarta and set up a new branch of Terry Lee there. It seemed like all the shareholders loved the idea," explained Daniel.

"Wow!" his plan amazed me.

I would love to ask where's Jennifer in that plan. But I knew it would change the mood of the conversation. Or at least my own. So I decided to skip it.

"I know you are not going to like this question Daniel, but we are going to be old someday."

"Oh no! Please don't ask me to imagine myself when I'm old okay?"

"No. I just want to know, if you are given an opportunity to deliver the story of your life later, what medium are you going to choose?"

"And what choices are we talking about?"

"A Film...a book...a graphic novel or you can choose not to tell."

"I would opt for the graphic novel"

"Hmm...Interesting."

"Why did you ask this?"

"Nothing. I just think that if graphic novel is your choice to narrate your life story, it could mean that you are the kind of person who like to use fantasy to keep up with the reality.

"Hmm..that's a good theory. But if you ask me the same question in a few years, the answer might change."

"Yeah. Probably."

"So what do you think of the latest issue of Hey, Marina?" Daniel changed the subject. I believed he did not want to talk or think so deeply about something that would happen twenty years ahead.

"To be honest Daniel, we have done the best we could in this situation and to me it's an average one," I said in all honesty. "But I think the readers are still going to buy them for the relevant issues we are bringing under the spotlight. I believe it's going to float our boat. But we could do much better, for sure and to achieve it, we need a magic."

"A magic?"

"Yeah. We need the wow factor."

" What kind of wow factor are we talking about?" Daniel was curious.

"Graphic novel!" I replied, after a moment of thinking.

"Graphic novel?" judging by the wrinkles on Daniel's face, he's obviously quite confused with my idea.

"Have you read any of Diana Sinclair's graphic novels before? I believe you know that name?"

"Well of course! Who doesn't know Diana Sinclair? Her graphic novels were such a hit!"

"I agree! I have read all of them more than once, at least."

"Why are you asking me that question? You want to do a review on the Secret Garden?" Daniel referring to a title of a graphic novel by Diana Sinclair.

"No. We have enough material for the review section. But do you know she is coming to Kuala Lumpur soon?"

"Diana Sinclair is coming to Kuala Lumpur???" Daniel seemed very surprised.

"Yes."

"I did not know anything about it. How could I miss this important news!?" asked Daniel.

"Yes, I was wondering too, how could you missed it? What occupies your mind so much that you missed all these?" I pretended not knowing the answer to that question, when deep in my heart I kept saying it's because he's too busy with Jennifer.

"Everyone in the city is talking about Diana Sinclair, Daniel... We can try to feature her in this issue. Her graphic novel is the most talked about now. Politicians are attacking her left and right."

"Are you sure she can be the wow factor for this issue?"

"Yeah! Just make her the cover and voila!"