Chapter 8 : In a Blink of an Eye

      “Gina! Slow down the noise! ” I half shouted at Gina who had been playing the modern classics of the nineties for almost two hours.

      "Sorry Marina ...." Gina replied slowly. I don't know why Gina suddenly plays songs like that. She seemed to want me to shed tears. I did not respond to Gina's apology. I got out of bed and closed the door of my room. I laid back on the bed. Looking towards the slow-spinning fan.

      "This is not happening... this is not happening..." I said to myself. I turned my gaze towards the closet. I saw, a blue polka dot patterned pajama given by Norman hanging there. I quickly got out of bed, immediately put the pajama deep inside the closet and went back to bed.

      There's something uneasy about the pajama. The same goes for the songs played by Gina. Each one of them reminded me of Norman. If I go out to the supermarket, I may be crazy, especially when I smell perfumes from shower gels, face washes, deodorants, hair gels, talc and everything used by Norman. What was on my mind at the time was Norman, Norman and Norman.

      I did not intentionally want Norman's attention and I also was not being emotional for no reason. It's something that's so hard for me to say. For someone facing it for the first time, I admitted that I was still in shock with what happened. I was like a statue who could only sit still and silent all day asking myself if this really happening.

       Some of my friends used to talk about it and every time I heard their stories, I asked myself, what am I going to do if the same thing happens to me?

        The question remained unanswered, until Norman gave me a surprise, one night. Something I never expected. And every time I remembered about it, I would cry in upset. I felt like I had lost something so precious in my life. Something I had kept and taken care of for a very long time.

      How could this happen to you, Marina!?" Gina half screamed as soon as I told her about Norman.

      "I don't know... I am confused too..."

      "I'm wondering what is going on with him!?" asked Gina. She was so emotional when she heard about my relationship with Norman which is now a history. I could only keep quiet, letting Gina's question went unanswered. It's the fact that I had trouble accepting, that Norman made that sudden decision without any discussion with me nor for any reasonable causes. My world seemed to shake when Norman who had been in my life for years disappeared in the blink of an eye!

       Since that night, I was no longer the same sane person. I was in the air. My mind drifted to Norman all the time. I kept imagining my life without him. Without his sweet words, without his voice that would always call me to say hello and to check on me and without her smile that never failed to lift off the stress on my shoulders.

       "This did not happen! It never happened! ” This verse kept coming out of my lips. I was hoping that this was just a dream and I would wake up from it.

*****

        Remembering that night, I received a call from Norman asking me to meet him at the Mc Donald's Section 14 in Petaling Jaya. As usual, I would be very excited when Norman, who was always busy with work and friends wanted to meet me.

       "Hi..." I said as I was sitting. In my hand was a cup of hot coffee I just bought from the coffee counter. I brought the coffee carefully to the third floor as instructed by Norman in prior to that. Norman just smiled when he saw I was coming. Nothing looked unusual.

       "Sit down," he said.

       "Just that?" I asked when I saw there was only a cup of Mc Flurry on the table.

       "Yeah... I'm full." Norman answered briefly.

       “Oh. So you just want to meet and have a chat with me? Very sweet.” I tried to joke.

        Norman just smiled at that.

        We both went silent for a few minutes. If not for some of the customers' chatting, the atmosphere on that third floor of the Mc Donald's must have been so quiet.

       "Marina..." Norman began to speak. "There is something I want to tell you."

       "What is it, Norman?"

       "I've been thinking about this through and deeply for quite some times. But only today did I decide to tell you Marina." Norman said. He did not look at me at all. His eyes were fixed on the Mc Flurry on the table.

        My heart started pounding hard and fast at what Norman's just said. In that few moments I couldn't help myself to not speculate a few possibilities that might come out of Norman's mouth. 'Maybe he wants to speed up our wedding date', I thought to myself. Then, the image of the white baju kurung Gina bought for me in Sarawak to wear on our wedding day flashed through my mind. ‘Stop it Marina!’ I scolded myself.

       "Honestly Marina, I feel that... ” he paused.

       ‘Feel what? Say it Norman... Tell me right away!’ I felt like shouting at Norman's face at that moment.

       "....there is no more compatibility between us." Norman quickly finished his words.

       "What do you mean Norman?" I asked as soon as I heard what just came out of Norman's mouth.

"We are no longer in the same direction,  Marina..." Norman paused. I freezed. It's hard for me to believe what I just heard and in that seconds, I seemed to be able to predict what would come out of Norman's mouth next. "I think it's best that we both go our own separate ways...starting from tonight...” Norman finished his words. He got up and immediately left me alone there.

My world became dark for a while. Everything I had dreamed of for the past eight years was destroyed in the blink of an eye!