"What do you really like about Norman, frankly speaking?" asked Michelle, when Ally and I were going to her spa for a foot massage. I told her from A to Z as I was on cloud nine from the massage.

          "I like Norman because he has a lot of charisma, he is gentle, he is always calm, always speaks using a low tone of voice, his voice is very deep, his skin is tanned and clean, he is tall, his eyes are charming, his arms and shoulders are naturally gifted, his hair is soft, he is clean, stylish, good at cleaning the house and back then he was somewhat hard to get you to know. But I did not have to do anything to score his attention back then. I remember how he took the first step. I mean, so many girls were crazy about him back then and yet he chose me. So, I did feel lucky to know him," Without me realizing it, my voice was quite on the high side and some of the staff and guests in the spa could hear that and hold their laughs.

          "My! Look at her sparkling eyes talking about Norman," Michelle interrupted and bit her lips.

          "What? No. I'm not! I'm just being happy to remember all these memories."

          "Talking at such length but still denying. Oh, please Marina!" added Ally, backing Michelle up.

          "Um... did I?" I asked the masseuse who was massaging my legs.

          "Yes..." she said and slowly nodded.

          "Oh, my! This is embarrassing!" I covered my face with both my palms.

          "So how is it now? Eddie or Norman?" asked Michelle, point blank.

          "Hmmm...there's no way I can accept Norman back into my life. No way," I shook my head.

          "So, you are serious with Eddie now?"

          "Hmmm..."

          "Another 'hmmm.' Again? " Ally interrupted. He was clearly not satisfied with the response I gave.

          "Shhh...a call coming in!" my phone rang, after almost two hours of silence.

          "Marina. I bet you know that Diana Sinclair is coming to Kuala Lumpur again soon?" Daniel's voice resonated from the other end.

          "Diana Sinclair? Um..." Hearing that name made me restless. I knew she would definitely come back to KL because some of her previous plans had to be cancelled when she needed to return to the United States immediately for some matters.

          "Yes. I knew she was going to come back here, but I had no idea when."

          "Rumour has it that she'll be in town next week," added Daniel.

          "Next week!?" I got very excited with that news. So excited it could be heard in my voice.

          "My! Someone sounds very excited," Daniel teased me.

          "Did I make it too obvious?" I said and we both laughed from both ends of the call.

          The moment Daniel hung up the phone, there was this huge fire of curiosity flaming through my veins. I was quickly on the move to find the latest thing I could find about Diana. And as usual, thanks to Uncle Google for being the actual one who did that for me.

          But the first search I came across was not about Diana but about her ex-husband, Mirza Adam Sinclair.

          'I Never Regret Marriage with Diana - Mirza Adam Sinclair'

          Somehow I clicked on the headline and read the content.

          When asked if he ever regretted the now-broken marriage with Diana Sinclair or seen that as a mistake, he strongly denied it.

          "We have never even been on each others' throats. We made a decision to go separate ways because we felt like our lifestyles were no longer on the same page."

          In fact, he was touched that Diana still kept the surname to introduce herself to the public.

          "He still loves you, Diana," I said to myself after reading it, a couple of times.

          Since the last time I met with Diana, I had read about her a lot. Her career journey, all the controversies around her as well as the choices she made in life. Prior to that, I had only seen her here and there in the media promoting her books not knowing who and how she was in real life. But since that life-changing interview with her, I started to admire her a lot. I took a deep dive into her life and always imagined how it felt like, to be in her shoes.

          'Maybe I should call or text her' I thought to myself, searching for her number in my phone. 'Um... Maybe I shouldn't' I said, hesitant to send a message to Diana due to such a strong sense of intimidation. I was afraid Diana might get annoyed by it. However, on second thought, I began to question my feelings towards Diana. I know it was all just my feelings. It comes from a sense of inferiority and lack of confidence. The complex issue of self-worth. Forgetting all that feelings, I ventured to send a message to her.

          -Hi, Diana. Heard you are heading this way soon.-

          I kept waiting for her reply but none came in. So, I dropped it and continued with work. About an hour later, I received a call from a private number. Although hesitant at first, I answered the call thinking that it could be Diana Sinclair.

          "Hi, Marina..." a soft, seductive voice was on the other end. 'Yes! I knew she was going to contact me back!'

          "You know who I am?" she was being trivial with me.

          "Hmm...Diana? Diana Sinclair?" I pretended making a guess, even though I knew that was her.

          "Wow! I can't believe it! How could you recognize my voice so easily?"

          "Your voice is so distinctive. How are you, Diana?"

          "I'm good. How about you?"

          "Never better!"

          "Yes, I can hear it from that voice. I'm sure your face is glowing too! I mean, come on. Hey has just made history!"

          "And you have been winning a lot of awards too recently, missy! I can see the extra glow in those pictures."

          Diana just laughed at what I said.

          "Oh, by the way, I think we should meet while I'm here in KL now, Marina. What say you?"

          "What, Diana? You are already in KL ?"

          "It's been five days now," she added. "This time, I really need privacy. So, are we meeting or not? Don't forget you owe me something! I made Hey sold like hot cakes!" she joked.

          "Although you had been difficult at the time..." I teased her back.

          "Well. It was intentional actually. It was an act!" explained Diana slowly, trying to rationalize all those diva moments before this.

          "I don't think so. I don't think it was an act," I teased her again.

          " Yes, it was..." she firmly denied my words.

          And for a moment we kept pulling each other's legs.

          "Enough Marina. This will take forever..." said Diana. After we bantered with each other.

         We kept talking for a few minutes more about our plan to meet with each other. We eventually made a decision to meet up tomorrow night at Dr Love.

          Diana heard the first time about Dr. Love from our previous meeting. I told her about that place and its unique concept and that had triggered her to pay the cafe a visit someday. That was why she agreed to see me there tomorrow.

          "Not bad," replied Diana as soon as I asked her about Dr. Love. Her eyes were scanning the place like a hawk, analysing every inch of every corner. We ordered the drinks and reciprocally communicated like we had known each other for the longest time. But during the session, something had actually caught my eye from the moment she arrived and took a seat there. A passport-sized photo of a man in a transparent file that she brought with her.

          'Handsome' I thought to myself. But it did not bring me to ask her more about the picture.

          Instead, we were talking about something, or rather someone that made Diana feel anxious. We were talking about Mirza Adam Sinclair.

          " I have just read something about Mirza."

          "You have? What happened to him? I'm sorry I don't really read online news," Diana said.

          "Nothing...he's just talking about you"

          "Oh really? What did he say?"

          "He said he never regretted the marriage with you and that he was touched that you are still using his surname up until today," I told her word by word.

          Diana did not speak a thing for a moment. Then she smiled and said "He better not or else..." and left the statement hanging.

          "Or else...?" I tried to make her continue the statement.

          "Nothing. It's just...You know Marina, we both started very well with each other. But as the time went by, the reality was no longer the same. And it had also changed who we were as a person. He became this kind of husband that was..." Diana seemed struggling to find the right word for it. "Not normal," she said and laughed. "And I became no longer the ideal one for him. And so we had to take everything in the most realistic and wisest way that we could."

           "...by calling it quit?" I continued, fishing her to explain further about it.

          "Yes," she nodded slowly. 

          "Have you ever tried to hold on and just brace it all?"

          "I have. But it's easier said than done. And so for the sake of our future, and our love, we decided to go separate ways."

          "Are you saying you both divorced because you loved each other?" I was confused by what Diana said. It did not make any sense to me.

          "I know...it doesn't make any sense to lots of people. And so they came out with all sorts of assumptions and stories about it. But it is what is."

          I believed Diana was referring to the rumours about the divorce, that it was because one of them cheated the other.

          "What about you, Marina?" she suddenly switched the limelight onto me. I could see, she was getting tired of just talking about herself.

          "Hmmm...Complicated," I said briefly.

          "Wow. A playgirl with a complicated situation! That's rare! I thought it was easiest for you girls because the choices are many. Just point a finger on one!" Diana gave me a cheeky smile.

          "Playgirl? Oh please, Diana. I am not a player, okay!" I answered defensively despite laughing at what she said. Diana was giggling. She was really amused by my reaction. 

          "Diana. Can I ask you something?" I asked her after we both stopped laughing.

          "Yes?"

          "Who is that guy?" I pointed my finger at the picture in her file.

          "Oh, this one?" She took the picture out of it.

          " Yes. I can't help to notice that picture since you arrived. You are taking nominations now? For a new boyfriend?" I teased her.

          "That's so funny. This is Tuah. Take a closer look at him, Marina."

          Diana handed out the picture to me.

          "Hmm not bad!" I said sincerely. "Who is this guy, Diana?" I gave her a cheeky look.

          "For your information, he is working in Lataya Food as an assistant researcher."

          "Lataya Food?"

          "Yes. Maybe you are unfamiliar with that name, but we are one of the key investors in that company."

          'Hmm..We? I know by that she meant ME,' my heart said.

          "Judging from the name, obviously it's a food and beverage-related company, no?"

          "That's right. But for the time being, we are just focusing on producing chocolates only."

          "Where is Lataya's headquarters?"

          "California."

          "I see...What's up with the picture then?"

          "Oh. It's like this Marina. Tuah is no longer with us. He's back in Malaysia for good. So we are now scouting for a replacement," explained Diana. I started to understand the whole story now. Except for the fact she was bringing his photo, like, why? Are they looking for a similar-looking guy? Or does this job require certain types of physical attributes? I was confused.

          "So have you found the new guy?" I asked Diana.

          "Not yet. Still looking"

          "A job like that is highly sought after. You will find his replacement in no time," I added.

          Diana did not respond with anything. She was having something in mind, obviously. Her eyes were all on Tuah's photo in my hand.

          "Diana?" I waved my hand over her face. She was frozen like a mannequin there.

          "Yes, Marina."

          "Are you okay?"

          "Yes. I'm good. Sorry, my mind was taken away by something. Where were we just now?" she asked me before sipping the hot tea in front of her.

          "Tuah's job," I said. She took a deep breath and continued talking.

          "Oh yes...that. To be honest it's just a small position. But if it falls into the right person's hand who knows how to use it to expand his networking and to think outside the box, it can open doors to so many great things later," explained Diana enthusiastically.

          "That sounds like my current job. Minus that network expanding part," I interrupted and laughed.

          "Well, that means you need something new. To explore a whole new world."

          "Yes. But there are just so many things to consider of."

          "Oh, really? Like what?" Diana gave me a dead stare. It looked like she really wanted to know about it.

          "It's hard for me to explain about it right now. But all I can say is yes, I am actually looking for a better opportunity," I explained carefully. Less willing to share my vision with Diana.

          "What if...the opportunity that you are talking about is right here in front of your eyes now?" Diana asked me.

          "What do you mean?"

          "What if I recommend you to Lataya as Tuah's replacement?"

          "Me?!" I asked. Pop-eyed with amazement at what I just heard.

          "Mmm...mmm..." Diana nodded.

          "You want me to replace Tuah in Lataya?" I asked her once again and she replied to me with the same nods and smiles.

          "Tell me you are not joking, Diana?"

          "No, I am not. I myself will be recommending your name to them soon."

          "But why me?"

          "Simply because I think you can do it."

          "We just met for a few times and you know my compatibility with the job already?"

          Diana was not ready for that question. She was trying to rationalize what she just said.

          "I have asked Zara Murad, James and Daniel about you, to be honest."

          "You asked them about me?" My face frowned as I said that.

          "Well don't get it wrong. I wasn't stalking you. Frankly speaking, after we last met for the interview, I thought you had a lot of potential. So I talked to Daniel a few days after that and asked him a lot of things. And it seems like you are one of his favourites. All great feedbacks. So were from James. They told me everything about you..."

          Everything? Well, I was not worried about James. But I was intensely wondering what Daniel had said about me.

          "But don't tell Daniel that I am actually trying to steal you from him all right," Diana burst into laughter.

          "What about Zara Murad?"

          "She didn't give any response," said Diana.

          "Phew!!! Glad that she didn't."

          "I wasn't really looking forward to her response. After what had happened at Nona Silk, I believe she would've made negative comments about you."

          "I believe so. Please, Diana. I don't want to talk about her."

          "Okay, I don't want to talk about her either. So, how is it, Marina? What do you think of Lataya?"

          I took a very deep breath, thinking about this surprising but possibly life-changing offer from Diana.

          "I don't know. I..." I paused, looking for the right words to say trying not to sound like I was declining the offer or anything that would make her think less of me. That I was scared of moving forward.

          "This is going to be a really great platform for you, Marina. I think you have no reason to say 'no' to it."

          "I'm not declining. I just...need some time to think about everything."

          "Hmmm...let me guess. It's about love, am I right?

          I lost for words. All I did was blinking my eyes and then staring at the glass on the table.

          Diana was just smiling.

          "Isn't this life weird? Sometimes we are confused, as to whether or not we can control our own destiny. Many say our capability is limited because it's all controlled by Him the Almighty. But we know very well that we are the ones responsible for the choice we make in the past, now and in the future. I don't know my future either, what is destined for me. But at least I try my best not to get controlled by the situation. It's so hard when it's the situation that does the commanding, Marina. Make sure you command them, not the other way around."

          I was just smiling after listening to those words of wisdom from Diana. I knew she was trying to tell me something with it and I could feel her sincerity in telling me that.

          "You don't have to say 'yes' to me now. I'm not going to push you to accept it either. The decision is all yours. Just go back and sleep with it first, okay?"

          I kept smiling and nodding, showing her my understanding.