liyana,

Writing to you in these early morning hours. I thought of you often at these hours. At the beginning of life. Of everything to come.

We would speak softly as I held you close against me. Keeping you warm and cocooned against my beating heart. Watching your eyes closed as these fingers held yours in the early hours of stillness.

Breathing in the sweet scent of your long luscious hair. Of your skin. With you next to me soundly asleep, I felt very protective. I do want to make things better for you. Always.

I wanted to make it easier for you to smile. For you to sing a little. For you to dream far and in these dreams I wished I could see you soar like the eagles in the sky. You have always wanted to fly the distance. I wanted to make it possible.

And every time you feel afraid you might fall from a dream too high, I wanted to hold your hand and tell you not to worry for I will be there to catch you when you fall.

Without fail, liyana.

Almost everyone you know at some point in your life failed you. Broke you and tore you apart. You found it hard to trust other human beings. It scared the daylight out of you to a brink where you grew cold and defensive. Thus keeping it light and easy, you said.

I have never turned away from you. I have always stood by every time life comes knocking trying to teach you a lesson or two. I keep telling you that life is beautiful. And with each adversity you will grow stronger and diamond-like. I’d tell you every night that you are a precious being that never stop to aspire into being a heart-shattering beautiful star.

With it comes hurt. With it comes pain. But none that you could not endure.

liyana,

Every time you feel weary and just tired from trying to be who you are, I want you to always remember that an extraordinary life is not made for ordinary people. And I want you to know I will always be here every time you feel a little unsure, and I promise to not let go of your hand.

chairil