Chapter 10 : Escapism

"You are taking me to sports day Tia?" I said as soon as the car driven by Tia skidded into the area of Tasek Utara High School. At the gate of the very school that used to be our place to study, a banner that read 'School Sports Day 2011' was hanging there.

"I am! Do you like it? This will definitely be an escapism for you." said Tia, who was at that time, one of the teachers there.

"Escapism?" I responded.

"Yes. You have been busy at home since you returned to JB. That's why I brought you here."

    "But I still don't understand why you call this an escapism..."

"You'll see, girl..."

"Whatever, 'Teacher' Tia... So, have you trained any sports team this year?"

"Me?" Tia asked with a small laugh.

"Come on, girl. How long have we known each other? I'm only under Gift and Souvenir Bureau this time."

    "I bet you love it, huh?"

    "I mean...duh! You know me so well right? Hot sun and rain are never my cups of tea." Tia said. Well, it was not surprising at all. During those school days, Tia and I never participated in any school events. But, if it were sports day, you would see these two faces just about everywhere! We were actually the school's 'reporters'. We were both members of the editorial board of the school back then. Hence, on any events or programs that would be held at the school, we would definitely get invited. Every month, we would publish a thirty-page pamphlet about myriad events to be distributed around the school at RM 1.50 each.

    To be quite honest, I did not really agree with the 'Escapism' proposed by Tia earlier because I was not quite sure how coming to a sporting event like that could really help me to stop my head from remembering all the things that had been haunting me all those time...

    However, after more than two hours of being there, I began to agree with Tia that it was indeed an escapism. And if I participate in any open-to-public event, I could definitely 'escape' even further. In addition to watching the events took place, I took the opportunity to have short chats with the teachers who were still teaching there.

    For a moment, I allowed my soul and my mind to drift away to places that I previously felt there was no need for me to track nor remember for a relatively long period of time.

'Maybe this is what Ally meant by 'stepping into the past'...' I thought to myself.

    "Everyone has a past," said Ally as we chatted with Dr Love.

"But for me, if possible I don't want to live in the past, Ally..."

"I am not telling you to live in the past. I'm telling you just to have a little sight into your past."

"It's easier said than done, Ally..."

"I know. It's indeed a hard thing to do. And it's not just you. Everyone feels the same, especially if it's something we really want to forget about. But to me, honestly, it can be done. It's just that we are afraid to relive what we once felt and went through. But I think it's high time that you do it, Marina, especially in difficult times like this."

My head went deep into it for a moment. Ally's words were all true. I really rarely want to look back. Not because I was short of time, nor did I have a lot to think about. I just... refused.

I looked around the school grounds, looking for someone. After what happened a few days earlier, I actually expected him to be there as soon as I set foot in the school.

*****

  A few days earlier.

'Ouch! This hurts!' I rubbed my left arm. My eyes quickly searched for what just hit onto my arm.

"A rattan Takraw ball?"

'Who on earth is playing with it until it comes out far into this road?' I asked myself. I looked back. Apparently, there was a court I had just passed, and a group of men were there watching me.

One of them rushed towards me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Miss, are you okay?" asked the man while taking the rattan ball that has scratched my skin a little bit.

"I'm okay. All good." I answered briefly. My eyes and hands were still busy, inspecting and cleaning my slightly dirty shirt.

    "Marina?" said the man. It sounded like a question. I looked upright on his face. Oh no, I was having an internal crisis at the time. He knew my name, but I could only recognize his face. 'What is his name? What?! What?!' Like a flash, my head flicked through some sort of a mental album of all the faces I knew. 'Come on, girl! Quick!' I urged myself.

"Syam?" I hoped it hits.

"Yes..." the man nodded, my guess was correct, obviously. And luckily. His name is Syam!" When did you come back here, Marina?"

  "Yesterday"

  "Wow! I did not expect to see you today Marina."

  "Right."

  Wait, was that all I could say? 'Right'? I asked myself.

"I never thought you would still remember me."

"And why is that? Of course, I still remember you. It's not like we haven't seen each other for a long time." I laughed to myself. I was sure at that moment Syam thought that I was insane because of the four years I considered 'not very long'. The last time we met, Syam was still studying in college.

"You play this every morning, Syam?"

"I'm training my students."

"I see... So you are a teacher now..." I said while nodding. Syam just smiled.

"What are you doing here, Marina? Shouldn't you be in Kuala Lumpur? Are you on holiday?"

'There are three questions asked. Which one do I answer first? From the questions, it seems like he knows a lot about myself.' I thought to myself.

"It's a long story Syam..." I sighed a little. "Why don't you come with me to Tia's house? We can have a long talk there."

"Oh. Maybe next time Marina. I need to continue my training with them. What's happening at Tia's house?"

"Oh, nothing. I just want to see her. We haven't seen each other for quite some time."

    "Oh, I see..." Syam nodded.

    "Look, I better get going!"

    "All right then... Be careful, okay, don't get hit by a coconut next time! " Said Syam with a big laugh.

    "You too, man! Maybe you should slow down a little bit, alright... I'm afraid someone else might get hospitalized by a rattan ball!" I replied with a small laugh.

"Hahaha...Okay, Marina! See you again!"

************************

  Tia was surprised when I told her about Syam and that "lucky" takraw rattan ball incident.

  "Wow! It looks like someone is going down a memory lane right now...? "

  "Memory lane? What memory? " I tried to deny Tia's assumption...which was a truth, to be honest.

"What is once lost will always be replaced with a new one." Tia teased me in giggles.

"Don't start, Tia. Don't you start..."

Speaking of Syam, I honestly never had any relationship with him. But I knew that he, on the other hand, has had feelings for me.

Call me hallucinating, but it is true. We first met when we were in form four. My closest classmates kept telling me that Syam always had his eyes on me when in class.

I was very uncomfortable with what Syam was doing at first. Firstly, he was a new student. We barely knew each other, and secondly, he did not seem to mingle well with any other classmates. Because of this, I could not help myself to think that he was a bit strange and was an anti-social kind of guy. At one point, I even called him a 'psycho' when I talked about him with my female friends.

  But after getting to know him, only then did I realize that Syam was just like the other boys. He was not as weird as I thought. He was very kind and polite. It's just that he was by nature a shy person, and that was what made him to take some times to get along with people.

All of these happened before Norman gave me that confusing 'signal'.