"I'm sorry, Marina. I can't make it tonight to Michelle's spa. Something came up. My uncle from Malacca suddenly showed up."

"It's okay. You did not expect that. I'm all good. You better off entertain him around."

"But I have promised you we would go together. I'm really, really sorry about this, Marina. Anyway I hope you have fun tonight."

"I will, thanks! And by the way, please say hello to your uncle, okay?

" Sure will! Say hi to your friends too."

Beep!!! The sound from the trash truck took me out of my fantasy. The fantasy of all the sweet things that might happen had Norman and I were still together.  There I was staring at a mirror reflecting my own image in a bathrobe.

""Girl...having that fantasy again???

"Yup!" I giggled.

If Norman and I were still together, I believed this conversation would happen between me and Gina:

"Who called you, Marina?" Gina would surely ask me that.

"Norman"-possibly my short response.

"Hmmm...let me guess...He could not make it, am I right?"

I knew I would nod to that and say "Yes...my fiancé let me down again..."

"And why is that this time? What's his reason now?"

"His uncle suddenly came up from Malacca. You would not think he's going to ignore his uncle, right?" as usual I would justify Norman's doing, whatever they were.

And yes, I know Gina would have many things to say about it. Giving me all of her thoughts and judgement. "But if you really open your eyes, this is not the first time he is avoiding anything like this. Especially if it was held by Michelle or Ally. I don't know... but I felt like he is not really comfortable with these two." Gina spilling her guts out, trying to conclude everything that has happened.

But, deep inside I would deny all the truths coming from her mouth.

I knew it was just an imagination. But sometimes imagination reflected the reality of a situation.

For a second I put aside my fantasy with Norman and pointed all of my focus on what we have planned for the night. Gina and I were getting ready for the opening ceremony of Michelle's newest spa located in Section 13 Shah Alam.

"How's my dress looking, Marina? Gina asked me as she twirled around like Cinderella.

"Wow!" I opened my eyes as wide as I could, on purpose. "I mean..." To be quite honest, I did not really like what's on her. Not that night, because we had something under our belts for her. A surprise.

"Why? You don't like it? Is it ugly?"

We all could tell Gina was wearing all branded items from top to toe. Designer stuffs- as people said it. But girl did she looked a little bit cheap tonight. It's all just too much. Imagine this;

A silk satin gown, Gucci (in midnight blue).

A pair of shiny, silver high heels from Roberto Cavalli, same as mine, and we were both wearing the same shoes that night.

Hip hop necklaces as the cherry on top, according to her.

A pair of knee length leotards, in pink and black stripes.

A 'Bounty Hunter' truck cap, added with some kind of a furry accessory, also on that very same head.

"I think your dress is okay. But the whole look would be so much better if you get rid of that truck cap, that weird furry thing and that Mardi Gras leotards. It's all just too much! I mean we are not going to Urban Frequenz Party in La Queen, aren't we?"

"Oh my God, really?"

"Yes! It's just too much! Less is more, please."

"Well then...I'll take off all these things..."

Gina rushed back to her room. Twenty minutes later she called me, asking me to help her to choose the appropriate outfit for the event.

I saw there's a black and white gown with just a perfect size of hibiscus pattern that I never seen her in.

The shoes, they stayed. Gina and I have actually promised to wear these shoes that we bought together in Ipoh a few months back.

For that event I was donning a white satin top with black lace on it. The bottom- just from some bundle shop (don't tell Ally this!). Mix and match. I did not mind to wear cheap stuffs at all. As long as they were not fake. Euww no no no! But one thing for sure, I must let the overall look toned down a little bit, because that night would be all about Gina.

"Marina. Ally is here." said Gina to me.

"How do I look? All good?" Gina twirled around in front of me for a millionth time.

"Stunning!" I mimic Meryl Streep's response when Sophia Loren complimented her in one of the Oscar Awards ceremony before this.

*****

"Oh my...there are so many people!" Ally said. We have been driving around the block so many times to find the perfect parking spot.

"Marina, how big is the crowd going to be tonight? How many people did Michelle invite?" Ally asked me.

"I have no idea. Judging from this limited parking space, it must be lots!"

"What if we park the car in Giant?" Ally suggested.

"Oh hell no! There's no way I'm walking a kilometre in this dress!" Gina objected.

"Yes! Not in this high heels!" I agreed with Gina.

"Okay ladies!!!" Ally surrendered.

Finally! After waiting and driving around like a spy, a car reversed from a parking lot right in front of the 7Eleven ahead of us. Thank God! Ally striked that lot like no one's job. And so off we walked to spa.

From afar, we could see a humongous balloon piled to the ground about a kilometre away from the spa, telling the crowds about the existence of it. According to Ally some reporters were even invited to give coverage for the event for their papers and magazines.

With full of excitement, we stepped into the heavenly decorated Sari Ayu Spa. Standing in the middle of the growing crowds, my eyes went everywhere looking for Michelle.

"Yuhuuuu!" I knew that voice. It's Michelle coming from the back of the spa. "Thank you so much for coming girls!"

"Thanks for having us!" said Gina as they were hugging each other.

"Marina, where is Norman?" Michelle asked.

I froze for a second. At that time my heart said...'Oh Michelle...I know you are busy. But please...haven't I told you what happened already?'

"Oh my love! I totally forgot about it! You know me..." Michelle suddenly remembered about it. "Well okay then, don't be sad Marina. Tonight is your night to be naughty! Look around. All the guys are so hot! I invited them on purpose! Hahaha!"

"For me?" I went along, with face full of excitement.

"Uuh yesss Marina. For you! But choose carefully okay, the last thing I want is you end up with a dot dot dot..."

"You silly girl!" Gina and I pinched Michelle's arm. But to be honest I did not even understand what Michelle meant by the dot dot dot thingy.

"Ah I'm just kidding guys! But anyway...look at you guys tonight! So beautiful! Gina, where are all your exotic accessories? What happened? The sponsors pulled back?" Ask Michelle whilst giving a blinking eye to me, as a sign that I have done a really good job dressing her down. We obviously had a plan for Gina that night and of course we wanted her to look simply beautiful!

"She had to sell them, to pay for her young boyfriend's car." said Ally.

"Oh my...what a change. I thought she likes them old and gold?" Michelle responded.

"Yeah yeah...listen to her..." said Gina, trying to stop them from pulling her legs.

"So what if it's true right? Well excuse me girls, I need to go the hair washing section for a while. Please get cozy, and have some snacks, alright? I'll be back."

Michelle was leaving us with a sign for me and Ally that we should get ready for our next step. The focus that night, apart from the spa launching, was for Gina and the surprise we had for her.

We were talking to each other like usual, enjoying the drinks and admiring the interior design of the newly open spa. Mid conversation, all of the sudden the power went out, making the crowds panic a little bit. In that darkness, my hand was grabbed and pulled by someone.

"Come with me, Marina." It was Michelle whispering to my ear.

Immediately, I left Gina and Ally and headed to the main stage.

"Alright Marina, we do it as planned okay?"

"Okay! I'm just a little nervous."

"Don't be. Just imagine these people as a see through light." Michelle was using her newly learned metaphysic theory to calm me down.

I tried to calm myself down and imagine the crowds were just a see through light as suggested by Michelle. But as the spotlight was turned on,  everyone on the floor turned their heads on me, who was there standing like an angel who just got down from heaven, showered by the light from that blinding bright spotlight. And I felt something different in my gut.

From the stage, I could see Gina and Ally stood up there in the middle of the crowds. And I could see Gina's face signing me 'what are you doing on there?'

I did not respond to that as the music of the song that I was about to sing has just started. And with all nervousness and my heart pounding like crazy, I began to sing.

"Father has a business strictly second hand

Everything from toothpicks to a baby grand

Stuff in our apartment came from father's store

Even things I'm wearing someone wore before"

God knew how groggy I was at that time. I knew it that all the crowds could hear was my shaky voice. But deep inside I was hoping I would not ruin Michelle's plan..

A few days prior to that, Michelle asked me to sing a song for Gina. And there was no other more suitable song than the 'Second Hand Rose'. It was our favorite. Everytime we sang it, we would pretend to be like an opera singer delivering the song with all her heart. Honestly, the idea of being a comic in front of people was not really my cup of tea. But special for that night, I loosened myself a little bit.

I had been practicing and getting ready for it one week before the night. But still, I was nervous as hell.

But seeing Gina singing it together with me relieved me a little bit.

"Even Jake the Plummer, he's the man I adore

Had the nerve to tell me he's been married before!"

It seemed to me like everyone in the spa was laughing at the lyric.

'Well done Marina! Well done! Now just a little bit more! A biiiit more!' My heart said.

"Everyone knows that I'm just

Second hand Rose

From Second Avenue

From Second Avenue NU!"

Every single crowd applauded me as I finished. For a moment I felt like a superstar! And they took the power off-again. In a speed of a flash I got back to where Gina and Ally were.

As planned, I stood right in front of Gina. The spotlight was turned on but this time it was all showered on Gina

"Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you today, Gina!" shouted Michelle full of excitement.

Gina was obviously very shocked with what was happening and from her face I knew she was thinking about what's going on.

'Do I look good?', 'do I look calm, nervous or just blergh...?' and 'What is going on here actually?'

I was sure, she did not predict our plan for her at all.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" we all sang together. Michelle and Ally brought in the cake that was prepared for her earlier this evening.

Gina started to tear up. She seemed so touched and joyously happy. It's just there was something in her face that made me question what was in her mind.

"But today is not my birthday..." Gina whispered to Ally and I.

"You know we all won't be doing this right on your birthday right? It wouldn't be much of a surprise no more. 'Becoming' is better than 'Belated', right?" I answered.

After we cut the cake and endless photography session, Michelle proposed to Gina to try one of the services Spa Sari Ayu was offering. A full head massage complimented with a hair wash, billed on the house as a gift for the birthday girl. I was happy for Gina and let her enjoyed the treats. Ally? She was long gone to the second floor to get foot massage.

And there's me, enjoying the spread in the corner, all by myself. I guessed singing in nervousness made me all hungry. Filling myself, at one point I was thinking about Gina.

Her face when the cake was presented to her, it's priceless and something I could not explain. She looked like she's being pampered and slapped in the same time. If we translate her reaction into words, it's going to be so complex.

Out of the blue, my concentration was disturbed when a man suddenly approached me.

"Hi. May I sit here?" asked the guy, holding a half full plate of Sates.

"Yeah, sure." I approved, with little smiles on my face.

" Are you sure? What about your friends?"

" Oh everyone's off for a hair wash."

"Really??"

"Yeah...I mean one is getting a hair wash, and another one is enjoying a massage." I explained to him, which made me questioned myself later- why would I had to explain that to a stranger?

He smiled and sit himself down.

"Wow I guess you really love sate huh?" I said as I saw him really enjoying them.

"Oh yes! Sate is my favorite, honestly." He responded, mouth full.

"I see.."

"What about you? Just the cake?" He pointed on the slice of cake in my plate.

"Oh no. I'm going to have some more. Slow and steady."

"Got that!" he nodded, understood.

I was wondering what he's thinking about me. Maybe he thought I was on diet or something.

"So...how well do you know Michelle?" after a long paused, I asked him.

"Oh. I don't know her. I'm just a plus one to her friend. What about you? Are you closed with her?"

"Well I can say that we are pretty close."

"I saw your singing was good!"

I smiled. Not knowing how to respond to that, honestly.

"By the way, let me introduce myself, I'm Harry. You are?"

"I'm Marina."

'Where was he when I was on the stage? I did not see him at all...' I was thinking to myself. "Thank you for the compliment."

"Are you really into music, Marina?"

"Pretty much. I mean yes! I'm really into it."

"Well if so can I ask you a question?"

Oh no...there came my least favorite part in any conversation. Really! That was something that would trigger my nervous system.

"Why not! But if it's too personal please don't take it by heart if my answer is 'no comment' okay?" I said to him jokingly.

He laughed, and drank the juice in his hand before continuing...

"What do you think of the music revolution now?"

'Music revolution'? I repeated that in my head. Wow! This is a jackpot question and one thing for sure, I loved it because this topic was always in my head.

"You mean the music business? The record sales in the market?"

"Umm...Hmm..." he nodded, as his mouth was full of sate.

"Hmmm...I think..." I was weaving my points. "Music will stay forever no matter what.. Artisanal music will always get produced. And since the physical music records' selling were not as glorious as they were in the eighties and nineties, I think the focus will shift to the live shows, and the artists will be depending on them to market their talents."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Technology changes everything. These artistes have to record their music. But the mentality that a music record is solely for selling purpose has got to change to now promoting and making sure they are relevant in the community for a long time, instead of just to sell them alone."

Well it could be just me, but I noticed as I was talking, I could see it in his face that he was kind of impressed with my points. Time passed by and as we carried on with the conversation about the topic, to be honest, I was also quite impressed with him. And in that moment, again, Norman crossed my mind. Deep inside, my heart kept saying -'this topic is very familiar. This was a topic that Norman and I were always talked about'.

In my mind I never stopped questioning why I bumped into a guy whose charisma was just like Norman's. I took a deep long sigh inside.

Judging by his deep, wide knowledge about the music business, I could not resist myself from asking him who he actually was and what he was doing for life. But I was stopped when there was a woman came to us.

"Oh hi there...Am I interrupting?" asked the woman.

"Jen!" He seemed panic. As if the woman was going to create a scene on him. To scold him or something.

"Jen???" that woman responded with her face confused and almost angry.

"I mean Rita...Yes! Rita!"

"This is Marina, by the way."

"Marina, this is Rita."

We both shook hands. I was not sure whether it's just me, but there's something about that smile on her face screaming 'plastic' to me. I thought she was jealous of something.

"We are late. Let's go home. I don't want papa to get angry." said Rita whilst looking at her watch on her left hand.

"Alright let's go. I think we can leave now." Harry nodded, agreed.

"Well excuse us Marina, if our angels clicked, we will meet again." said Harry, signing himself off. I noticed Rita's eyes rolled a bit when Harry said that.

"Well then, I hope so." I replied and smiled, before I realized what I have just said. 'I hope so???' It looked like I was looking forward for it too. Ugh silly me!

'But who is Jen?' I thought to myself. Ugh it could be that I was just talking to a Mister Casanova who was just testing the water.

My eyes were on them as they were leaving. But before they were gone Harry turned his head around and took a short glance on me, smiled and raised his hand. As a goodbye gesture I supposed.

    Shortly after that, there came Ally and Gina. They smelled so good, most probably from the shampoo or the mask they used when getting pampered.

"Oh Gosh! My head feels so good after the massage!" Ally said in full of satisfaction.

"That's true! My dizziness is gone now." Gina agreed.

"I think Michelle has magic fingers!" continued Ally, as she fed her mouth the remaining sate on the table.

"By the way Marina, who was with you just now? There are two drinks and one plate. Hmmm it looks like a sate plate." Gina being all FBI, as always.

"Just another guest..." I responded, short and brief. Hopefully that would kill their curiousity.

"A man?" Ally continued.

"Yup!"

"What's his name?" Gina asked, full of excitement.

"His name is Harry."

"Wow. Harry. Like Prince Harry. Is he hot?"

"Mmm...Not bad. But forget it Gina, he's very much of a 'Georges Duroy' type of guy."

"Ahh I see...So did Mr. Casanova manage to get our Miss Marina's digits?"

"Nope!" I shook my head left and right, pretty much proud of myself for not being a 'Miss Easy'.

"Facebook?" Ally took turn.

"Twitter?" Gina just could not wait.

"What was his name again? I forgot."

"Harry..."

"Cool name." Stated Ally. These two girls just could not stop asking me about this Harry guy, like bullets. But thank God with the gift I have prepared for Gina, I managed to divert the topic. It's a trench coat from her favourite brand. I bought it seven months ago when Jusco had a mega sales in the Melawati Stadium, Shah Alam. It's totally a bargain and I was just glad I bought it earlier cause it saved me from the last minute shopping head ache.

"Umm girls, I think we should make a move now. It's late already." Gina proposed.

"That head massage I got just now made me all sleepy. Gina will you drive us home?" said Ally in full, fake yawn.

"Sure. No problem."

Before we left, we said goodbye to Michelle and thanked her for the invite as well as her kindness to host Gina's birthday party in the same event.

In the car, honestly my brain revolved around Gina. She looked happy for the celebration, but somehow I also noticed that she looked like something was bothering her. Especially when she was looking at the cake in front of her. It was a pretty big cake with twenty nine candles on it representing the years of the girl being on this earth. Well...maybe it was just me. I was not saying she's not happy with it. Everyone was having a good time, including Gina.

But her face was like 'I'm happy because you guys remember my birthday and take time to celebrate it, but I'm also very worried of my age.' Just like most women, it seemed like 'age' was also a big thing for Gina. Two days after the celebration, she turned 29.

Honestly Gina was a modern girl envied by many. But she's also pretty conventional in some things. She loved her rom-coms and all the fantasies and the ideas she got from them. She believed in the traditional roles of a man and a woman in a marriage, or in life in general. That no matter how modern a wife is, she must be cooking for her husband. Things like that.

Just like any other human being, Gina wished to have her own family. A soulmate and her own kids. But it seemed like her star did not shine bright in every relationship she had. Something bad would always turn up in the middle of them. Whether it's Gina or the guys, only God knew.

These past two years, Gina has been dating young men (well..not simultaneously) mostly 20 to 22 years old. The latest one was Hani, a 22 year old guy who was just graduated from college. It's been 15 months since they made it official. Before Hani, she dated Adi and Terry who were just about the same age with Hani. But they only lasted for three months.

To be quite honest we were pretty worried with Gina because we thought she's just wasting her time, energy and lots of money, on Hani. Well I could sense that she's having some kind of expectation of the boy. But what bothered me was, what's Hani expecting from her?

A few of our colleagues have even said it that Gina was too old for all these puppy love things. All the dramas that came from dating a young boy. Hmm did it make sense?

Frankly speaking, all these age related thingy was not a stranger to my ears. It has been a top topic every once in awhile.

      Every time I heard it from the people around me that I looked much younger than my real age, I was not sure to take it as a compliment or vice versa. In my mind there's always 'what a 25 year old's face should look like, then?'

But sometime I also found myself being the one who made such a typical remarks about this ageism topic. I remembered when Rani was showing me the pictures in her phone of her and Sosila roller blading in the Extreme Park.

"Wow! Sosila was so cool! Still active in her 50s!" That was my response, off all.

Rani just smiled at that. But if I could translate her smile, it meant 'do we just die when we reach 50?' Obviously, we were both standing on a different sentiment. Firstly it was about the outer appearance, and secondly was more about a lifestyle. I admitted what I have said was not really from the bottom of my heart. I was just being a parrot, repeating what I have always heard from other people. You know, that 'You are now this and this years of age. So you must do this and this, suitable with your age' thing. The older you got, the more experience you have, but there were also just gazillions of limitation that came along with your age.

All these expectation were actually born with us. They were like our twins! Witnessing our grandparents and just everyone in our own family dealing with the 'age' issues, we unconsciously developed that stigma of 'Oh, we must do this while we're still at 20s', 'Oh, I am now 35! I should be like this or that!' Talking about the normality and the ideals in the community.

But not everyone was fortunate to be able to reach these ideals. Some might have failed in marriage or in love, and took some time to heal or move on. Some had to repeat their papers in college, costing them extra semester. Each individual was facing their own reality and challenges. So what's with all these 'ideal time' we were talking about?

To me personally, as I looked at all these energetic, obsessive, vibrant people who were at their 50s already, it inspired me to keep being positive and experimental in life. You don't stop playing when you get old. You get old when you stop playing. Or in Mark Twain's words, "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it does not matter'.

    We are what we think we are. If we are thinking that we are too old or too young for something, then that might as well be true.