THE NEXT PRIME MINISTER

Razman is going to be the next prime minister. He has that spark, the leadership qualities, and, my God, can he give a speech and have the killer sense of humour to win over the fiercest critics. He has a clipboard in his hand at all times, as if he’s ready to tackle any issue that comes his way, whether fixing every pothole or organising every neighbourhood BBQ. His block party speeches are unforgettable; they make anything sound memorable and exciting and get everyone enthusiastic about it. But what makes him different is this: he has the ability to impersonate every politician in Malaysia flawlessly. His Mahathir impression is so good, you would think the former PM had just popped into our local Mamak joint to gossip. If anyone can spice up and make us laugh at our politics, it could be him. I wouldn’t ask him to do his Najib impression, though. All right, I haven’t finished. The guy is absolutely crazy about his morning ritual. Like, we’re talking about a smoothie that has to contain seven blueberries, two spinach leaves, and a dash of chia seeds, which is kind of crazy. And don’t get me started on the lucky socks—he won’t make any major decisions unless he’s wearing them! So yes, he would make the perfect leader, but if you need him to do anything, you would better catch him early in the morning or before noon, because once that morning routine starts, good luck getting his attention!