liyana,

Someone told me to find something beautiful and get lost in it.

‘I have. And still lost in it.’ I answered almost blindly. 

Our last fight. When you ran from me, clenching the hurt and pain that you severely claimed was your doing. You claimed that you will have to face this alone. On your own.

You did not want me near.

You were hurt. And my heart broke.

Like a shadow you said, I strayed in and out of your life enough. Too much damage I have created, leaving you to pick up the pieces.

I stayed silent. Unmoved.

I tried to look away and refrained myself from finding you. From knocking some senses into your head. From barging down your door and rescue you from the same stupid agony you have faced again and again.

I became dumb.

It took me a good two solitary months before I had the courage to reach you again.

I said you were right, I should have not interfered. I did not mean to hurt you.

That I was sorry. 

I could not bear the thought of letting your heart be broken by the careless and stupid things I have said and done. I truly wanted you to be happy. With or without me.

liyana, your reply was swift. An incredible labyrinth, you were.

You said you missed me.

‘Find me.’

You said. Again.

Only this time I learnt to never let go. And keep you for good. 

chairil