29-30 January 2025

Chinese New Year. The Year of the Snake. Of all the animals, why a snake? I don’t even like looking at them in pictures, let alone seeing giant golden snake decorations hanging from mall ceilings. Those coiled, beady-eyed monsters are everywhere—on banners, angpows, even in those extravagant mall setups where people queue just to take pictures. Nope, not for me.

Public holiday, though! Which means traffic jams everywhere. Malaysians seem to have two modes during long weekends: either drive back to their hometowns or flood every shopping mall in the city. Since I have no desire to be stuck in a sea of cars (or a sea of people), I opt for the third and best option—stay home.

I’ve decided that the perfect way to spend Chinese New Year, as a non-celebrator, is to binge-watch Kung Fu movies. Because, really, is there anything more appropriate? I start with Ip Man because Donnie Yen is a legend. Then, a Jackie Chan classic—Drunken Master. The stunts! The choreography! The absolute defiance of physics! Even after all these years, Jackie is still untouchable.

Somewhere in between movies, I wonder: how do people celebrate the Year of the Snake if they hate snakes? Do they just pretend it’s the Year of the Noodle? I would.