Chapter 3: The Great Manifesto Madness

The announcement of the election sent waves of excitement—and confusion—through Kampung Sentosa. As the candidates prepared their campaigns, the people eagerly awaited one thing: their manifestos. This was where promises were made, hopes were raised, and, most importantly, free stuff was offered.

The first candidate to unveil their manifesto was none other than Mak Cik Timah.

“Saya orang kampung, dan saya akan jaga orang kampung!” she declared, slamming her ladle on the table at her warung.

Her promises were simple and, to some, quite tempting:

1.Free teh tarik on Fridays at her warung.

2.Monthly gotong-royong with free nasi lemak for all participants.

3.A ban on anyone selling nasi lemak within 500 meters of her stall.

The last point raised some eyebrows, but her loyal customers cheered. “Mak Cik Timah untuk rakyat!”

*****

Next up was Uncle Wong, who hosted his manifesto reveal at his kopitiam. With his signature cigar in hand, he outlined his plans for Kampung Sentosa:

1.Free WiFi at his kopitiam for all customers.

2.A senior citizen discount on roti bakar.

3.A ghost-free mall initiative—because, as he put it, “You know lah, people don’t want to shop if got hantu!”

His promises sparked debates. Some laughed, while others whispered about that one time a pontianak was spotted near the old cinema. “Maybe Uncle Wong knows something we don’t,” said one customer nervously.

*****

Then came Johan, the self-proclaimed candidate for the youth. His manifesto was as bold as it was... bizarre:

1.A mandatory bubble tea kiosk at every public event.

2.Turning the unused paddy field into a skatepark.

3.Declaring every Monday a public holiday because “Mondays are depressing.”

The crowd’s reaction was mixed. The younger audience cheered, shouting, “Johan is our hero!” Meanwhile, the older folks muttered, “Budak ni gila agaknya.”

*****

Azri, the tech-savvy millennial, used a PowerPoint presentation for his manifesto, projecting it on the wall of the dewan orang ramai. His promises were filled with buzzwords like “innovation” and “sustainability”:

1.Launching a Kampung Sentosa app for community updates and voting.

2.Installing solar-powered streetlights.

3.Introducing drone delivery services for groceries.

While his ideas sounded futuristic, a Pak Cik in the audience asked, “Kalau drone itu jatuh atas kepala saya, siapa nak bayar bil hospital?” Azri stuttered, and his presentation ended awkwardly.

******

Finally, there was Hassan. Or rather, there wasn’t Hassan. When it was time for his manifesto reveal, he didn’t show up. Instead, a note was taped to the microphone stand:

“Manifesto saya? Satu saja—buat hidup lebih tenang.”

The cryptic message left everyone confused. Some found it profound, while others dismissed it as laziness. “Dia ni serius ke tak?” asked Mak Cik Timah, rolling her eyes.

*****

As the manifestos spread through town, debates erupted. The warung became a battleground of opinions:

“Teh tarik free setiap minggu? Saya undi Mak Cik Timah!”

“Hantu mall tu memang serius. Saya rasa Uncle Wong betul.”

“Bubble tea? Johan memang tak cukup matang untuk memimpin.”

The candidates, meanwhile, doubled down on their promises. Mak Cik Timah offered extra sambal for voters. Uncle Wong hinted at expanding his ghost-free policy to include the old school library. Johan? He promised a bubble tea festival.

It wasn’t long before the people of Kampung Sentosa realized one thing:

This wasn’t just an election. This was a circus.