BADGES OF COURAGE

The skyline of Kuala Lumpur glittered in the setting sun, a mirrored mosaic of glass and steel shimmering with the fiery hues of the sky. Sheila was sitting on the balcony of her apartment, overlooking the city. Outside, the day was descending into night. Inside, Sheila’s reflection on the glass was that of a woman who had seen her share of storms. She was 35, with eyes that were stoic from long years of bracing against its gales.

It had not always been like this. Sheila had been stuck in the purgatory of self-doubt and unhealthy relationships a few years ago. She’d fallen for a man who was like a chameleon: he could be the prince charming one moment, the devil the next. The relationship was a constant drama of ups and downs, yet Sheila stayed on for years, bruised and let down, convinced she was not good enough.

The last straw was the thought that she was losing her sense of self. The lively, independent young woman she had once been was becoming an imposter, a version of herself dictated by the will of the man. For Sheila, enough was enough. It was a leap of courage to walk out of her marriage. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done—and the most liberating.

It was a time of heartbreak, anger, confusion, of being lonely, of having to find herself again, of having to face up to a life that had been left behind, of fearing all over again to start from scratch.

  It was only then that Sheila started to feel a sense of comfort with her new life in the strangest of places: a small, hidden-from-the-street pilattes studio in a neighbourhood on the outskirts of the city. The graceful movements, the deep breathing, the quiet introspection—all of it helped her find some relief from the storms raging inside of her. She found a group of people who were in various ways navigating through the same challenges that she was, and they all understood and helped her in ways that seemed clear yet unspeakable.

Sheila’s path was less of a linear climb than that. There were setbacks and periods of self-doubt and sleepless nights, grinding through negative self-talk, but she could also appreciate her resilience, her ability to challenge herself and her negative narratives, to embrace her flaws, and to savour every little win. What she’d long buried, she now uncovered: her love of graphic design, a career she revisited and pursued.

Looking down at the city twinkling in the evening light, she was grateful— to the God she’d lost her faith in and to the woman she had become. The one she saw in the mirror in the shiny glass was not the frail, vulnerable victim in the county hospital ward, but the confident, hardy free woman. The scars were still there, a reminder of a long journey—but also a badge of courage.

Sheila realised life would still hand her lemons. But she had also learnt that it was not the absence of lemons that made her a lemonade seller, but her ability to sell lemonade that truly mattered. She had become a warrior, not because she could slay the dragon, but because she could slay her own demons, because she learnt that strength did not lie in the absence of weakness but in the courage to be weak, to admit it, and to move on from it.

As the city stars of the new year’s glittering lights twinkled above her, Sheila smiled. A true star-bright smile that reflected a heart resilient and a spirit burning. She was ready. She could walk this walk. One foot in front of the other, she could take on the new year. Her journey was a testament to the human spirit’s ability to heal and grow and come back stronger from the heart’s darkest moments. It was a story of courage, resilience, and the unwavering power of the human heart to overcome, to heal, and to ultimately find joy, even in the face of life's most challenging storms.