Chapter 4: The Door-to-Door War
The Kampung Sentosa election had already started to feel like a soap opera, but the real drama began when the candidates decided to go door-to-door to campaign. What should have been a simple way to connect with voters turned into a battlefield of pettiness, sabotage, and absurdity.
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Mak Cik Timah vs. Uncle Wong
Mak Cik Timah, armed with a basket of homemade kuih, set out early, confident that her charm and culinary skills would win over the undecided voters. Meanwhile, Uncle Wong had a more aggressive approach—he brought a portable karaoke machine to serenade the residents with old Chinese songs.
The problem started when they accidentally crossed paths at the same house.
“Mak Cik Timah! Why are you here? This is my route!” Uncle Wong exclaimed, pointing dramatically at her basket of kuih.
“Your route? Last I checked, this is Kampung Sentosa, bukan Kampung Wong,” Mak Cik Timah snapped back.
The two engaged in a passive-aggressive standoff in the middle of the street, each trying to block the other’s access to the house. Uncle Wong cranked up his karaoke machine, singing so loudly that it scared the neighborhood cats. Mak Cik Timah retaliated by loudly offering her kuih for free to anyone who came near.
It wasn’t long before the entire kampung gathered to watch the spectacle, some even live-streaming it on social media. The hashtag #KuihVsKaraoke began trending locally.
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Johan and the Kuih Bribery Scandal
While the seniors were busy squabbling, Johan decided to take a more modern approach—bribery. He knocked on doors with a box of premium kuih lapis, claiming they were “samples” from his nonexistent bakery.
“This is just a token of appreciation,” Johan said with a wink, slipping a flyer under each kuih box that read, “Vote Johan for a brighter future!”
Unfortunately for Johan, his plan backfired spectacularly when he visited Mak Cik Minah’s house.
“Kuih lapis? Tapi awak beli kat kedai, kan? Tak sama rasa dia dengan kuih Mak Cik Timah,” Mak Cik Minah said, unimpressed.
“I… uh… itu resipi saya!” Johan stammered, but the damage was done. Word spread that Johan was trying to pass off store-bought kuih as homemade, and the kampung wasn’t having it.
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The PR Disaster: Cikgu Halim vs. The Cat
Cikgu Halim, the most serious candidate in the race, thought he was above the drama. He wore a neat shirt, carried a clipboard, and had an actual policy agenda. But his campaign took a nosedive when a viral video surfaced online.
In the video, Cikgu Halim could be seen stepping on a cat’s tail as he walked up to a voter’s house. The cat’s loud yowl and his awkward reaction—“Aduh, kenapa dia duduk sini!”—spread like wildfire on TikTok.
“Candidate who hates cats? Unacceptable!” read one comment.
By the end of the day, Cikgu Halim’s campaign had become the laughingstock of the town. Someone even printed posters of him with the tagline “Vote Halim: Not a Cat Person.”
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Chaos Unleashed
By evening, the candidates were exhausted, their egos bruised, and their reputations in tatters. Yet, none of them gave up. They regrouped, each blaming the others for the chaos.
Mak Cik Timah accused Uncle Wong of being a “karaoke terrorist.” Uncle Wong called Johan a “kuih fraud.” Johan blamed social media for ruining his honest attempt at connecting with voters. And Cikgu Halim? He was too busy trying to apologize to every cat in Kampung Sentosa.
As the sun set, it was clear that this was only the beginning. The door-to-door war might have been a disaster, but it was a preview of the madness still to come.