NECESSARY BREAK-UP

Lo looked at the food on his plate; it was bright with colours, but the grey haze inside his head was growing more solid by the minute. He had been putting off this conversation with Ed for months now; maybe if he didn’t talk about it, the tension would subside on its own. But the knot in his stomach was getting tighter with each passing day. It was a knot that he had been carrying around for a long time, one that threatened to tear apart their long friendship.

Ed, a guy with a manic laugh, had been Lo’s friend and drinking buddy since university. They’d been through a lot. When everything in life was a mess, they had each other. But Lo was nearing 30, and he felt that the foundations of their friendship were starting to slip. Ed still thought like a 20-year-old—he seemed unable to grasp Lo’s increasing ambition and thirst for self-improvement.

Lo’s attempt at freelance writing—taking the leap of faith to do what he actually cared about—had been met with Ed’s dismissive shrugs and jokes about ‘living in a fantasy world.' Ed’s insistence on immediate gratification and his discomfort with deferred rewards contrasted sharply with Lo’s desire to build something meaningful—something that required patience and hard work. Lo had tried to explain, but Ed would just brush him off as ‘too serious’ or ‘overthinking things’.

But his breaking point had come weeks ago, when Lo had told Ed that he was feeling stressed out by his new job. Ed’s only response had been to make several jokes at his own expense. ‘Come on, man, are you really that worried?’ Ed had said before going on to explain that Lo’s ‘worries’ were silly and that he should stop worrying about everything and just enjoy life more. Lo had walked away from the conversation, a lump in his throat.

He knew it wasn’t a decision to be made lightly, and although his friendship with Ed was one of the most treasured he’d ever had, ending it felt like he’d be cutting off a piece of himself. After weeks of soul-searching, Lo concluded that Ed’s emotional immaturity had been a constant drain on his energy and inhibiting his growth, pulling him further away from his goals. He needed to surround himself with people who understood his aspirations, who would be proud of his achievements, and who would lend a shoulder to cry on when the going got tough.

It was done. He took a deep breath, the food untouched before him. He was going to tell Ed the truth, and he would try his best to be kind. This friendship did not serve him anymore. It would be painful. It would be awkward. There might be some anger. But it was necessary. He needed it—for himself, for his sanity, for his happiness. It was the necessary loss for self-discovery.

He knew that there would be grief, a sense of loss. But he also knew that letting go—a breach as painful as it was necessary—was sometimes the only way ahead. And so, as Lo walked up the stairs to Ed’s apartment, a sense of determination inflected with bittersweet melancholy, he knew in his heart that this was the right way to go. Not an ending, but a beginning, a beginning in which he could at last grow, unrepentantly, with the help of those who knew his being best.