Home Buku Komedi/Romantik Komedi Tales of the Jazz Age (Kid Haider's Adaptation)
Tales of the Jazz Age (Kid Haider's Adaptation)
Kid Haider
17/6/2024 14:35:10
4,756
Kategori: Buku
Genre: Komedi/Romantik Komedi
Tale2P2

Tale 1: The Camel's Back (Part II)

Adapted by Khidir Mohamed Yazir (Kid Haider)


II


Mrs Nolak was a petite and unassuming woman who, after the end of the world war, found herself part of a new nationality. Due to the uncertain conditions in Europe, she was never quite sure of her identity. The shop where she and her husband worked was filled with an array of oddities - suits of armour, Chinese mandarins, and large papier-mâché birds hanging from the ceiling. In the background, rows of masks stared blankly at visitors, while glass cases displayed crowns, sceptres, jewels, stomachers, paints, crape hair, and wigs of every colour imaginable.


When Perry strolled into the shop, Mrs. Nolak was finishing up a hectic day by neatly folding pink silk stockings into a drawer.


"Can I help you with something?" She asked, sounding a bit doubtful. "Looking for a Julius Hur costume, the charioteer?"


Unfortunately, Mrs. Nolak had already rented out all the charioteer costumes for the Townsends circus ball.


"Sorry, but I don't think we have anything left that fits the circus theme," she apologised.


Perry was stumped for a moment, but then a light bulb went off in his head. "Do you have any canvas I could use to make a tent?"


Mrs. Nolak shook her head. "Sorry, we don't have that. You'd have to try a hardware store. But we do have some nice Confederate soldier costumes."


Perry quickly declined the soldier costumes. "No soldiers for me."


Mrs. Nolak then suggested a handsome king costume, but Perry wasn't interested and simply shook his head.


"Several of the gentlemen," she continued hopefully, "are wearing stovepipe hats and swallow-tail coats and going as ringmasters—but we're all out of tall hats. I can let you have some crape hair for a moustache."


"Looking for something unique? How about a lion's head, a goose, or even a camel—"


"A camel?" The idea grabbed Perry's imagination, and he wouldn't let go.


"Yes, but it requires two people."


"Can I see it?" Perry asked eagerly.


Mrs. Nolak retrieved the camel from its spot on the top shelf. At first glance, it looked like a skinny head and a big hump, but when unfolded, it revealed a dark brown body made of thick, cottony cloth.


"It takes two people to operate," Mrs. Nolak explained, holding the camel with admiration. "One person stands in front and looks out through the eyes, while the other person stoops over and follows the front person around. It's like wearing pants for two people."


"Put it on," commanded Perry.


Mrs. Nolak obediently placed her tabby-cat face inside the camel's head and turned it from side to side with a fierce expression.


Perry was captivated.


"What noise does a camel make?" he asked.


"What?" Mrs. Nolak replied, her face emerging slightly smudged. "Oh, what noise? Well, they sort of bray."


"Let me see it in a mirror," Perry requested.


In front of a large mirror, Perry tried on the camel's head and turned from side to side, examining himself. In the dim light, the effect was surprisingly pleasing. The camel's face had a look of pessimism, with several scratches, and his coat was a bit unkempt—he definitely needed a good cleaning and pressing. But he was undeniably distinctive and majestic. His melancholic expression and hungry eyes would surely attract attention in any crowd."


"Mrs. Nolak repeated, 'You see, you have to have two people.'


Perry hesitantly gathered up the body and legs, wrapping them around himself and tying the hind legs as a makeshift belt. The overall effect was not great. It was almost disrespectful, like one of those mediaeval paintings of a monk transformed into a beast by Satan. At best, it looked like a hunchbacked cow sitting among blankets.


"This doesn't look like anything at all," Perry said gloomily.


Mrs. Nolak agreed: "You see, you need two people."


Suddenly, a solution came to Perry.


"Do you have a date tonight?"


"Oh, I couldn't possibly..."


"Come on, you can do it!" Perry said it encouragingly. "Be a good sport and climb into these hind legs."


With some effort, he located the hind legs and extended them towards Mrs. Nolak. However, she seemed hesitant and backed away.


"Oh no...


Come on! You can be in the front if you want to. Or we'll flip a coin.


Let's make it worth your while.


Mrs. Nolak pursed her lips.


"Now you just stop!" she said firmly, with no hint of playfulness. None of the gentlemen had ever acted this way before. My husband—"


"You got a husband?" Perry interrupted. "Where is he?"


"He's at home."


"What's his phone number?"


After some negotiating, he finally got the phone number for the Nolak family and called the tired voice he had heard earlier that day. Mr. Nolak, caught off guard by Perry's clever arguments, remained firm in his decision. He politely declined to help Mr. Parkhurst by being the back end of a camel.


After the call ended, Perry sat down to think. He considered asking his friends for help, but then he thought of Betty Medill. Despite their past relationship ending, he decided to ask her. He figured she couldn't say no to one last favor. He even thought about them dressing up as a camel together, with him as the back end. The idea made him happy, and he even started dreaming of a romantic reconciliation inside the camel, away from the world.


"Now, you better make a decision right away.


Mrs. Nolak's voice interrupted his daydreams and snapped him back to reality. He picked up the phone and called the Medill house, but Miss Betty was already out for dinner.


Just when things seemed hopeless, a dishevelled man walked into the store. He looked like he had seen better days, with a cold and a general air of defeat. His cap was pulled low, his coat hung down to his shoes, and he just seemed down on his luck. He claimed to be the taxi driver hired by the gentleman at the Clarendon Hotel. He had been waiting outside but suspected the gentleman had snuck out the back to avoid paying. So, he decided to come in and confront him. He slumped onto a stool, looking defeated."


"Hey, want to go to a party?" Perry asked eagerly.


"I gotta work," the taxi driver replied sadly. "I gotta keep my job."


"But it's a really good party," Perry insisted.


"It's a really good job," the taxi driver countered.


"Come on, be a good sport," Perry urged. "Look, it's pretty!" He held up a camel figurine, and the taxi driver gave it a sceptical look.


"Huh," the taxi driver grunted.


Perry frantically searched through the fabric folds.


"See!" he exclaimed excitedly, holding up a few folds. "This is your part. You don't even have to talk. All you have to do is walk and sit down occasionally. You get to do all the sitting down. Just think about it. I'm on my feet all the time, but you can sit down whenever you want. I can only sit down when we're lying down, but you can sit down anytime. Get it?"


"What's that thing?" asked the person skeptically. "A shroud?"


"Not at all," replied Perry indignantly. "It's a camel."


"Huh?"


Then Perry mentioned a price, and the conversation shifted from confusion to practicality. Perry and the taxi driver admired the camel costume in front of the mirror.


"You can't see it," Perry explained, peering out through the eyeholes, "but honestly, buddy, you look amazing! Seriously!"


A grunt from the hump seemed to agree with this somewhat strange compliment.


"You really do look great!" Perry said it enthusiastically. "Try moving around a bit."


The hind legs of the camel moved forward, creating the image of a giant cat-camel getting ready to pounce.


"No, try moving sideways."


The camel's hips twisted in an impressive display, making a hula dancer jealous.


"Looks good, right?" Perry asked, turning to Mrs. Nolak for her opinion.


"It looks fantastic," Mrs. Nolak agreed.


"We'll take it," Perry decided.


The costume was tucked under Perry's arm as they left the store.


"Let's go to the party!" Perry said as he settled into the back seat.


"What party?" asked the driver.


"The fancy-dress party."


"Where's it?"


"Absolutely," he said confidently, "that's it! Tate's party is tonight. Everyone is going."


"Hey," the person asked nervously after glancing at the awning, "are you sure these people won't give me a hard time for showing up here?"


Perry stood tall and replied, "If anyone says anything, just say you're part of my costume."


The idea of being seen as a prop rather than a person seemed to calm the individual.


"Okay," he said reluctantly.


Perry stepped out from under the awning and started setting up the camel.


"Let's get going," he ordered.


A few minutes later, a sad-looking camel, with smoke coming out of his mouth and a hump, wandered into the Howard Tate mansion. He didn't even give the footman a second glance as he made his way up the stairs to the ballroom. The camel had a strange way of walking, kind of like a mix between a slow march and a wild dash, but the best way to describe it would be halting. As he moved, he stretched out and then bunched up again, like a huge accordion.

Previous: Tale 2
Next: Tale2P3

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