Tale 2: The Camel's Back (Part V)

Adapted by Khidir Mohamed Yazir (Kid Haider)

V

The chaos that ensued at the Tallyho Club that night will be remembered for years to come. The scene was like something out of a movie - with matrons fainting, Americans cursing, and debutantes gossiping in lightning-fast groups that formed and dissolved in an instant. The ballroom was filled with a buzz of conversation, both intense and strangely subdued.

Young men were in a frenzy, swearing they would kill Perry, Jumbo, or even themselves. The Baptist preacher was bombarded by a group of loud amateur lawyers, demanding answers and threatening legal action. Everyone was trying to figure out if there was any prearrangement to what had happened.

In a corner, Mrs. Townsend was crying on Mr. Howard Tate's shoulder, while outside, Mr. Cyrus Medill, the Aluminum Man, was pacing back and forth, cursing and pleading to get at Jumbo. He was dressed as a wild man of Borneo for the evening, and it was clear that no one could have played the part better.

Meanwhile, the two main characters were stealing the show. Betty Medill, or was it Betty Parkhurst, was causing a scene, surrounded by the less attractive girls while the pretty ones gossiped about her. On the other side of the room, the camel stood, missing only his headpiece which hung sadly on his chest. Perry was busy trying to prove his innocence to a group of angry men, only to have the conversation shift back to the marriage certificate every time he thought he had succeeded.

Marion Cloud, the second most popular girl in Toledo, changed the dynamic with a snide comment to Betty. "It'll all blow over, dear. The courts will annul it without question."

Betty's tears dried up instantly, her expression turning cold as she walked over to Perry, leaving her supporters behind. Perry, terrified, watched as she approached him.

"Will you give me five minutes to talk, or was that not part of your plan?" Betty asked with an icy voice.

Perry nodded, unable to speak, and followed her out into the hall. With her head held high, Betty led him to one of the card rooms for privacy.

Perry tried to follow her, but his hind legs suddenly gave out, stopping him in his tracks.

"Stay here!" he barked angrily.

A voice from the hump whined, "I can't get out unless you do first."

Reluctantly, Perry gave a command, and the camel carefully left the room on all fours.

Betty was waiting for him, seething with anger. "Look what you've done! This is all because of that ridiculous license. I told you not to get it!"

Perry tried to explain, but Betty cut him off. "Don't call me 'dear girl'! Save that for your future wife, if you ever find one after this embarrassing stunt. And don't act like this wasn't planned. You bribed that waiter, didn't you? Admit it, you tried to marry me!"

Perry stammered, "I...I didn't mean to..."

Betty interrupted, "You better own up to it! Now what are we going to do? My father is furious. He might even try to harm you. This mistake will haunt me forever!"

Perry couldn't help but quote softly, "Oh, camel, wouldn't you like to belong to the pretty snake-charmer..."

"Shut up!" Betty snapped.

After a moment of silence, Perry spoke up, "Betty, the only way out of this mess is for you to marry me."

"Marry you?!" Betty exclaimed.

Perry continued, "Yes, it's the only..."

"Shut up! I wouldn't marry you if...if..."

"I know. If I were the last man on earth. But if you care anything about your reputation—

"Reputation!" she cried. "You're a nice one to think about my reputation now. Why didn't you think about my reputation before you hired that horrible Jumbo to—to—"

Perry tossed up his hands hopelessly.

"Very well. I'll do anything you want. Lord knows I renounce all claims!"

But, said a new voice, I don't.

Perry and Betty started, and she put her hand to her heart.

"For Heaven's sake, what was that?"

"It's me," said the camel's back.

In a minute, Perry had whipped off the camel's skin, and a lax, limp object, his clothes hanging on him damply, his hand clenched tightly on an almost empty bottle, stood defiantly before them.

"Oh," cried Betty, "you brought that object in here to frighten me! You told me he was deaf—that awful person!"

The camel's back sat down on a chair with a sigh of satisfaction.

"Don't talk that way about me, lady. I ain't no person. I'm your husband."

"Husband!"

Betty and Perry both let out a cry at the same time.

"Hey, I'm just as much your husband as that guy is," Perry said. "He didn't just marry you to the front of the camel, he married you to the whole thing. And that ring on your finger? That's mine!"

Betty let out a little yelp and angrily threw the ring on the floor.

Perry, confused, asked, "What's going on here?"

"You better figure this out and fix it," Betty said. "If you don't, I'll have just as much right to be married to her as you do!"

Perry turned to Betty and said, "That's bigamy."

Then, Perry made a bold move. He stood up and looked at Betty, who looked shocked by the new twist, and then at the man who was swaying in his chair, looking unsure and threatening.

"Fine," Perry said to the man. "You can have her. Betty, I'm going to show you that I didn't mean for us to get married. I'm giving up my rights as your husband and giving you to the man who you're actually married to."

There was a moment of silence, and then four horrified eyes turned towards him.

"Goodbye, Betty," he said with a broken voice. "Don't forget me in your newfound happiness. I'm leaving for the Far West on the morning train. Please remember me kindly, Betty."

With a final look at them, he turned away, his head bowed and his hand on the door handle.

"Goodbye," he repeated, turning the knob.

But at the sound, she rushed towards him, her snakes and silk and tawny hair swirling around her.

"Oh, Perry, don't leave me! Take me with you!" she cried, tears wetting his neck. He calmly wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't care," she continued. "I love you, and if you can wake up a minister at this hour to marry us again, I'll go West with you."

As they embraced, the front part of the camel looked at the back part, and they shared a knowing wink that only true camels could understand.